Otoupal.org Terms

Well, I hit the last straw just recently when I went to buy some batteries. The invoice I was forced to sign seemed to have more room on it for the small print than for the useful information. Therefore, I have decided to add my own personal little "Terms And Conditions" clause for any person or company choosing to do business with me. Most of these terms are almost verbatim from crap I've had to sign so I imagine they are as legal as the originals. I have took the liberty to embellish a bit here and there.

What is good for the goose is good for the gander


To help the government fight the funding of terrorism and money laundering activities, Federal law requires me to obtain, verify, and record information that identifies each person who opens an account. Of course, I shall refuse to forward any of this information to any goverment agency unless they compensate me well for my time and efforts.

Privacy be damned.


Net 30. Late charges begin to accrue at 31 days. Unpaid late charges will be added to the next invoice. Please return one copy of this invoice with your payment. Make all checks payable to: Pafoofnik Enterprises. If you have any questions concerning this invoice, call Doug at (432) 426-2644.

Fair enough.


The failure of me to insist upon the performance of any of the terms or conditions of this contract or to exercise any right hereunder shall not be deemed to be a waiver of such terms, conditions, or rights in the future, nor shall it be deemed to be a waiver of any other term, condition, or right under this contract. 

You probably don't understand this term and that's OK because neither do I.


No terms or conditions other than those stated herein, and no agreement or understanding, in any way purporting to modify these terms or conditions, shall be binding on me without my written consent. Any additional or different terms in Your form are hereby deemed to be material alterations and notice of objection to them and objection of them is hereby given. This Agreement is the entire Agreement between you and I with regard to this product and supersedes any and all other communications, advertisements, or understandings with respect to the software, media disk and documentation. 

I get the last say in these matters so nuts to you.


I do not manufacture any of the products sold by me. All products sold are warranted by the original manufacturer. Except for such original manufacturer warranties, WE DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND WARRANTIES OF FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. I will not be liable for any damages of any kind arising from the use of this site or products obtained or ordered from this site, including but not limited to direct, indirect, incidental, punitive or consequential damages. 

Once I'm paid, then you're on your own.


If I have an existing account with you or your company, you may change any of your terms with me at any time. However, you must provide me written notification of any changes and give me a positive method to reject any or all changes. If you disagree with any rejection of any new term, then you must provide me with a cost free transfer to a company that will do business with me at the original terms. Simply refusing to continue to do business with me doesn't cut it. 

You're the one that decided to change things, so you should be responsible for any consequences. 


I may change these terms at any time. You must review these terms on a regular basis. You can find the most recent version of the contract at 'http://www.otoupal.org/TERMS/Terms.html'. The changed terms are in effect right away. If you do not agree to changes in these terms, then you must stop doing business with me by following the terms in "CHANGES IN TERMS TO ME". If you do not stop doing business with me, then your business with me will continue under the changed terms. 

In other words, I can but you can't.


My Driver's License is NOT the "property of the state" and does NOT "have to be surrendered upon demand". I had to take an eye exam, give a thumbprint, and pay good money for the license. If it truly were the "property of the state" then I would not have had to pay for it. Should anyone insist that I produce my license, then I reserve to right to charge my customary $45.00/hr with 1 hour minimum, payable in advance. 

Go pound sand, copper.


You hereby agree that I would be irreparably damaged if these terms are not specifically enforced, and therefore you agree that I shall be entitled, without bond, other security, or proof of damages, to appropriate equitable remedies with respect to breaches of these terms, in addition to such other remedies as I may otherwise have available to me under applicable laws. In the event any litigation is brought by either party in connection with these terms, the prevailing party in such litigation shall be entitled to recover from the other party all the costs, attorneys’ fees and other expenses incurred by such prevailing party in the litigation. 

In other words, I do not have to prove anything to collect everything.


The following terms, conditions and/or restrictions regarding the jurisdiction whose laws shall govern these terms, and the venue where any claims against me shall be asserted are subject to the local laws of the country where the Product was purchased, and in the event of a conflict between these terms and such local laws, the local laws the country where we do business shall prevail. Nonetheless, these terms shall be deemed to have been made and executed in the State of Texas and any dispute arising hereunder shall be resolved in accordance with the law of the State of Texas. You agree that any claim asserted in any legal proceeding by you against me shall be commenced and maintained in any state or federal court located in the State of Texas, County of Jeff Davis, having subject matter jurisdiction with respect to the dispute between the parties. 

If'n you want to hassle me, then you gotta do it on my turf.


You hereby acknowledge that you have read and understand the foregoing terms and agree that the action of doing business with me is an acknowledgment of your agreement to be bound by these terms. You also acknowledge and agree that these terms are the complete and exclusive statement of the agreement between yourself and me and that these terms supersede any prior or contemporaneous agreement, either oral or written, and any other communications between yourself, and me.

You knew what you were getting yourself into when you cashed my check. Changing the rules somewhere else doesn't cut it. 


Copyright © 2006 Pafoofnik Enterprises. Site last updated 06 December 2017, more or less. EMAIL the WebMaster. Our TERMS.